Wednesday, September 25, 2013


To forgive is to be free of the guilt..but it does not take away the pain. We fool ourselves if we believe this, because it will come back to haunt us later, and then we feel betrayed. Hurt is hurt. Faith in God sets us free from that hurt, but he does not remove the memories of that pain, because those memories are also building blocks of our character, of our faith, of so many things. But those memories can also reopen wounds, even if for a short time.

I was sharply reminded of this this morning, as random thoughts floated through my pre-caffeinated brain. Memories of my brother came flooding through, and along with those, memory of being compared to him in a derogatory fashion by my parents. I was shocked afterward at the feeling of anger and pain just those few moments left behind; the passion with which I mentally voiced my fear, anger and hurt. I was shocked. Because in my mind, I had forgiven all of this. But in my heart..did I really? Maybe I just forgave the wrong...wrong?

When we make a decision to forgive a person, we also have to forgive the deed, the words - the Event and all of its participants. Likewise, when we forgive for an Event, we must also forgive all of those who were involved. It is not so easy to give total forgiveness, is it. And yet our God gave it to us.

And so I borrow words from Matthew West in a prayer this morning, as I tackle this particular demon of memory again, and pray I can finally put it behind me and totally forgive. Let us all tackle Total Forgiveness. It truly is the hardest thing to give away.

" I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness"

-~Matthew West - Forgiveness